


Finding love after death

by Queen_of_Mischief



Category: Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: F/F, F/M, Foursome - F/F/M/M, M/M, Miscarriage, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 08:54:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25348057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_of_Mischief/pseuds/Queen_of_Mischief
Summary: The maitlands have a new companion a second wife named Evie who joins them in their death and meets the demon Beetlejuice will this new addition mean changes for not only the maitlands but for the demon who learns that maybe he doesn't need power.
Relationships: Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland, Adam mailtand/original character, Adam maitland/barbara maitland/original character, Beetlejuice/Adam Maitland, Beetlejuice/Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice/Originial Female Character(s), adam mailtand/barbara maitland/beetlejuice/original character, barbara maitland/original character





	Finding love after death

The front door opens and Adam Maitland, a green flannel wearing dweeb, walks into his home with a small brown paper shopping bag, he is unaware that he is also being watched by a green haired perverted beetle man. “Barbara I’m home” he calls out before his wife Barbara Maitland, a beautiful young motherly woman who was wearing a matching green dress and boots, walked over to him and greeted him with a hug and kiss, “Adam and barbara maitland” the beetley man introduces the readers without said people knowing, “was there traffic on the bridge?” Barbara asked Adam, “Bill hadley on his tractor. I was like ``pick a lane Bill.” “Isn’t this amazing? It’s the last day of their lives and this is what they're talking about” interjected beetleman, Adam continues his story of his day “So crazy story, I got all the way to Howard’s store and Howard tells me his out of stock” “no” “then I asked Howard Jnr to check in the back for me” “smart” Adam moves to sit on a cushioned stool, next to the ghost with the most, “so he sent back Howard the third and long story short I got the last bottle of Manchurian tung oil” he pulls out said bottle out of the bag to proudly show off his luck.

“See this is what life is, it's just a bunch of howards and then you die” Beetleman says before moving again as the phone rings, “I’ll get it” Barbara declares before going to the kitchen to answer the phone. “Oh they are going to get it. It’s going to be so good for all of us” the ghost says ominously. Adam turns to the crib sitting in the middle of the living room ready for more oiling “Hey old girl let’s get you finished” he declares “finished? Oh adam we are just getting started” Beetleman says before moving to watch from a higher point.

**ADAM: Look at this crib**

_ He pours some oil onto the rag and starts to wipe the rag over the crib. _

**In all of its glorious antiquary**

**Every curve and surface speaks to me**

**Saying pamper and spoil me**

**Sand me and oil me**

**Come on**

**I know to the untrained eye it's boring**

**But nothing's a chore when you're restoring**

**Apart from frustration, pain, and financial drain**

**It's fun!**

**Folks say Adam**

_ He stops polishing and instead stares over to the side at nothing  _

**Why do you polish your crib when you don't have a kid?**

**And even if you did have a kid**

**This crib is too precious for placing a baby inside it**

**So it simply exists to remind you**

**Your sense of perfection is just a reflection that**

**You are not mentally prepared to make room for a kid**

**Adam, why don't you live?**

**Adam, just make a start**

**Are you willing to take the next step?**

**Ready, set**

**Ready, set**

_ Beetlejuice has had enough of watching boring Adam and walks past Barbara.  _

**BARBARA: Look at these jugs!**

_ Beetlejuice turns around but pouts when Barbara is only holding two jugs. _

**Amazingly glazed and terracotta-ery**

_ Barabara gently places one jug down on the table while keeping the other. _

**I took some clay and made you pottery**

**The world will never wreck you**

**I'll protect you in a mother's embrace**

**Folks say, Barbara**

_ She sits down on a chair at the table and holds the jug close to her chest. _

**Why can't you see that ceramics is**

**Simply a manifestation of motherly panic**

**By making a baby that's breakable**

**Aren't you creating a way of translating the**

**Terror of making maternal mistakes into clay**

**Hiding away so you don't have to face being a bad mom**

**Barbara**

**That's what you've done, Barbara**

**Just make a start**

**Are you willing to take the next step?**

**Ready, set**

**Ready, set**

**EVIE: Look at these carrots!**

_ “I forgot to mention Adam and Barabara have Evie Maitland, their wife” Beetlejuice says as a Beautiful, young woman wearing a long flowing dress carrying a basket of carrots walks in from the backyard. _

**EVIE: Aren’t they so orange, cute and cuddly?**

**I get the sense they really love me**

**And I love you too**

**Yes I do!**

**Okay time for your bath!**

_ Evie dumps them into the sink before taking them out one by one and chopping them. _

**EVIE: daily I weeded, fed and watered you**

**Stood in the rain and talked to you**

**It seems like such a waste**

**To grate your face or chop your body in half**

**Folks say Evie…………..**

_ She stops chopping the carrots and looks out the window  _

**Why can’t you see that your garden’s subconscious**

**Manifestation of some place that’s safe**

**Where you don’t have to put yourself out there**

**In case you get hurt cos the trauma of losing a baby means**

**Maybe you’re damaged**

**And gardening gives you the feeling of love without**

**Risking the pain of a miscarriage**

_ Evie looks down crestfallen, Barbara notices and gives the woman a hug from behind. _

**Poor Evie**

**Just take a risk Evie**

**Just make a start**

_ Evie looks back at Barb with an equally affectionate look _

**Isn’t that crazy?**

**Carrots aren’t babies**

_ Evie giggles nervously as she leaves to join Adam in the living room while Barb watches her with a concerned look before she too joins the others.  _

**THE MAITLANDS: Here we stand**

_ The three of them hold hands together. _

**At the end of a 10-year plan**

**ADAM: A house,**

**BARBARA:a yard,**

**EVIE: a minivan**

**THE MAITLANDS: A baby should be next**

**Together let's leap off the cliff**

**Fall forever, then smash to bits**

**Trapped in a terrifying viper pit**

**Of diapers and regret**

**Are we willing to take the next step?**

**ADAM: Ready, set**

**BARBARA: Ready, set**

**EVIE: Not yet**

**ADAM: Not yet**

**BARBARA: Why rush?**

**EVIE: Why rush?**

**THE MAITLANDS: Soon enough, our hopes and our dreams will be crushed**

**ADAM:But not yet!**

**BARBARA: Not yet!**

**EVIE: Not now**

**BARBARA: Not now**

_ Adam walks closer to the girls when he hears a creak from below him and the girls hear it too while Beetlejuice is eagerly watching while munching on a tub of popcorn on the landing of the stairs. _

**THE MAITLANDS: Ooohh?**

**EVIE: No!**

**BARBARA: See?**

**ADAM: We can't start a family in a house with creaky floorboards**

**BARBARA: You are absolutely right**

**EVIE: Let's add it to the list**

**ADAM: With the cracks in the plaster**

_ He gestures to a wall with tiny cracks. _

**BARBARA: The wi-fi should be faster**

_ Barbara is writing down the floorboards on their to do list. _

**EVIE: This sofa needs a castor**

_ Evie runs up behind the couch and manages to flip herself over it to land sitting on it. _

**ADAM: The bathroom's a disaster!**

_ Adam picks up Evie and spins her around making the younger woman laugh _

**BARBARA: What about global poverty?**

_ The two stop spinning and Barbara wraps her arms around Adam’s neck from behind. _

**EVIE: What about world peace?**

**ADAM: Then there's the whole darn economy**

**BARBARA: The whole Middle East**

**EVIE: We should learn Mandarin**

**BARBARA: Yeah!**

**ADAM: Or Spanish at least**

**THE MAITLANDS: No habla español**

**Dos cervezas por favor**

**And that's all we got**

**And that's not a lot**

**Do we want a bilingual household or not?**

_ Adam puts Evie back down but the three don’t move away only closer. _

**ADAM: So let's go slow**

**BARBARA: No breaking a sweat**

**EVIE: What's the point of having children**

**THE MAITLANDS: If we're drowning in debt?**

**ADAM: Now we're totally**

**BARBARA: Completely**

**EVIE: Maybe eighty percent**

**ADAM: I'd say seventy-eight**

**THE MAITLANDS:Ready to take**

_ They hold hands and spin themselves in a circle over the creaking floor. _

**ADAM(BEETLEJUICE): The next step (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah Yeah!)**

_ Adam stops spinning and stands looking at Barbara and Evie. _

**BARBARA(BEETLEJUICE): The next step (Zooby dooby dooby, dooby dop and bow!)**

_ Barbara stops spinning to look at adam. _

**EVIE(BEETLEJUICE): The next step (Zweeby, beeby, boo-bah-bah-dee!)**

_ Evie stops spinning and stares at Adam and Barbara. _

**THE MAITLANDS: The next step**

**Ready, set let's**

_ The maitlands all jump together towards each other when they floor gave out and the three fell screaming “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” and died in the basement. _

**BEETLEJUICE: See I wasn't kidding**

**It's a show about death!**

_ Beetlejuice strikes a pose as a spotlight lands on him. _


End file.
